Welcome to our world. It’s that time of year again, that one day we are actually encouraged to dress up as something we’re so obviously not. And while Halloween isn’t as big in Australia as it is in many other countries, we still manage to create havoc and scare small children out of their minds.Or as Laura says, just another day.
So with that in mind, we ventured through the cobwebs of our underground dungeon, past the skeletons of our once-loved and pried open the door to our costume wardrobe for this year’s spectacle. It was a tough decision. How would we be able to decide between Medusa, Talia Al Ghul, Birdgirl or Abed? And it’s not like we actually had anywhere to go ... it was simply which costume would be more comfortable to sit around the house in.
Aside from the crazy costumes, if there’s one other thing we always do on Halloween it is to try and scare the bejeesus out of ourselves. So on the lead-up to Old Hallows Eve we had a Paranormal Activity marathon. Such a bad idea. We hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks after seeing the first one ... and yet somehow we thought it would be different next time round?? Oh no. It was, however, a reasonable idea to watch the second and third one consecutively in the same afternoon. There was so much going on we couldn’t focus on just one horrifying aspect to terrify our socks off once we were hiding under the covers late at night. And the only way to recover from such a sickening experience? To try and convince each other we were haunted. Obviously.
So here’s what went down:
1) Hannah thought she tripped over a ghost. As we were leaving our darkened bedroom, she went flying. Of course, there was nothing there. Obvious answer: ghost did it.
2) Laura was attacked ... and by whom? Or, as Hannah puts it ... what? A bloodthirsty demon. Though let’s be honest, Hannah was still a little sensitive after the bathroom scene in the third film. So as Laura put her notebook back on the bedside table and scratched her arm on the corner, naturally her first instinct was to slam on the bedroom light and scream: “Something bloody scratched me!” The proof: a long, thin scratch on her forearm which was just starting to bleed. Cue eeriness. And a really simple explanation ... but why tell her the truth straight away?
3) Let’s just state this right now and get it out of the way: playing Bloody Mary in the bathroom is never a good idea, especially when your sister is half-demon to begin with. So as Hannah stared at her reflection, determination etched on her face, and uttered the forbidden name of the malevolent witch thus: “Bloody Mary ... Bloody Mary ... Bloody Mary ...” AND HOLY FLIPPING JEEBUS THERE’S – Laura?
On Halloween we spent the afternoon with a pile of classic scary movies to get us into the spirit.
Number One – Poltergeist.
We have no doubt this movie was terrifying twenty years ago. But for the Y-Generation who have been totally desensitised to nearly every human emotion and have grown up watching much scarier stuff, it was more funny than scary. Although who the hell wouldn’t jump because of that freaky clown? But with the threat of Hannah teaching Laura’s future children to creep into her bedroom, late at night, and announce in a high-pitched, eerie voice: “They’re he-re!” we decided to move on.
Number Two – White Noise 2: The Light.
Slight confession, we did only watch this movie for a young Nathan Fillion. Also because we saw it in the video store and thought it looked hilarious. In a ridiculous kind of way. Well. We were surprised. It actually had a decent storyline and kept us enthralled until the end. The end for us being when Abe died. Luckily it was only a few minutes until the actual end, so we just ate some popcorn and waited it out. Only problem now, Hannah’s checking for EVP and keeps giving the TV a funny look.
Number Three – Exorcist: The Beginning.
When you watch Exorcist: The Beginning with the lights on, it’s not too scary. There are still a few jumpy moments and plenty of cringe-worthy scenes including hyenas tearing apart small boys and babies being born covered in maggots. Oh, and then there was the devil. We prepared ourselves for the fact Stellan Skårsgard might die; we don’t think we’ve seen him in a single thing where he lives – with the exception of Mamma Mia in which he should have died. And then about halfway through the film we realised it was a prequel to an already existing film which we’d also already seen. Chances are, being the main character, he’d make it out alive. And a little tip, when it gets scary at the end all you have to do is imagine Laura as the devil, hanging out with Stellan Skårsgard in Africa and it’s all good.
Tips For Ghost-Hunting:
We’re gonna go ahead and assume most people have attempted to connect with the spirit world. Maybe it’s just us. But we sure got our fair share of ghost-hunting experiences while traveling, one of our favourites being the Treasurer’s House in York, England. Apparently many people have reported seeing the ghosts of a Roman army in the cellars. Let us tell you, we were in that cellar for ages and we saw nada. So to make up for the fact that we didn’t see any Roman soldiers, we did instead have fun tormenting our poor tour guide. She warned us of previous visitors who had had strange encounters whilst in the house. These included a strong smell of lavender in the air, feeling suddenly really very sick in the pit of your stomach, stopping frozen as though there was something in front of you, and strange breezes rushing inexplicably through the house. Now, we’re not entirely sceptical when it comes to the supernatural but ... seriously? Most of those are easily explained, especially when you take into account dozens of eager tourists (most of them elderly) who have paid their entry fee and want to go home feeling special. It’s called mass hysteria. But the tour guide was a believer and so we decided to open our minds to the unknown. And before we knew it, we both felt really very sick. At one point Hannah had to stop because the smell of lavender was overwhelming. And when Mr White and Laura saw the door move all on its own it was only right of them to inform the tour guide. How were they to know she would freak and not stop telling everyone that two of the Australians had had an “encounter” and keep checking on the door? Too much? Well, she’s gotta earn her pay somehow.
But as much fun as ghost-hunting is, there comes a time when you’re standing there, alone, in the dark and a question forms in your mind. Where’s Sam and Dean Winchester when you need them? And also, does anyone have a number where we can reach them? ‘Cause it’d be nice to have them about on the occasion that you decide to go ghost-hunting. Or, if you just completely by accident happen upon a haunted house or an angry apparition. And who doesn’t like to have lunch in a cemetery every now and then? I mean, who better to have protecting you in such a situation? Though we’d best not forget about that poor fallen angel, Castiel. Hannah certainly didn’t. If the occasion arose in which we required Cas’ assistance, it’s doubtful Hannah would be able to keep her hands off him. Not the kind of thing you need happening when fighting vengeful demons. But at least, as Hannah says, it would be a distraction from what was really going on.
So, after a long week of sleepless nights we are left with that defeated feeling and wondering why why WHY do we do this to ourselves? Well, it’s fun. And as we keep telling ourselves ... We ain’t afraid of no ghosts. But it does present the possibility ... what if?
